Saturday, October 31, 2009

Joshi Digest: October 23-27, 2009

This is going to be a new feature on the blog. I'm going to post links to Youtube videos. It will be a mix of the digests that appear on S-Arena (fingers crossed that the guy in Japan posting this stuff keeps it up) and other joshi, new and old, that ends up on Youtube. Those of you that read the joshi thread at DVDVR have seen some of my snarky Youtube reviews and I'll be starting by getting that stuff in the blog.

I may or may not resume posting my weekly news digests on DVDVR here. I did it for a while, then stopped.

If you want to get directly to results or upcoming schedule, click on the appropriate tag on the right hand side. Oh, and enjoy the photo of Keiko Nakano.

This is the tiny little venue in Saitama that Ice Ribbon and Secret Base use.

Makoto vs Nanae Takahashi: Makoto's on a trial series since she somehow got the honor of being Etsuko Mita's final singles opponent. Makoto is getting fiesty and harshly slaps away Nanae's attempted handshake. Makoto knocks over Nanae and does the requisite joshi junior move of repeated forearm smashes to the boobies, with some blazing chops thrown in. Makoto puts in a brave effort, but eventually Nanae's LAR-I-AT-O wins the day.

ICEx60 Championship, Emi Sakura vs Chii Tomiya: Tomiya is tiny, probably the smallest fully grown joshi worker (she's 18) since Baby-A. Emi is apparently staying away from Dairy Queen and is trim and fit at 59.99 kg. Chii is so small and not all that good, so she can't do much besides being a helpless punching bag. Emi's La Magistral is good for another quick defense. After the match, we get some mike work from a sad Makoto. I think she's still upset about Emi taking the Ice Ribbon title away.

Fuuka vs Mika Nagano: Nagano is a MMA fighter who has recently joined Ice Ribbon and has had a few puroresu matches. This match is sort of a pro-wres/MMA hybrid, with two 3 minute rounds. Most worked shoot joshi sucks, and this was no exception. I got the sense that in a real shoot that Nagano would submit Fuuka immediately once she got a takedown.

Passion Seven vs Police~woman: Passion Seven is a masked worker and Passion Red's "new" find. Oh, it's just Nanae in a mask. She didn't even bother wearing different gear. Police~woman is Yuki Miyazaki. Very little is shown. Seven wins with a diving body press.

Fuuka & Misaki Ohata vs Ryo Mizunami & DASH Chisako: Some JD' Star vs Sendai action. Ohata & Miz are fighting for the junior title in December, and Fuuka almost never loses on her vanity shows, so I guess DASH is gonna lose. Yep, I'm psychic. Fuuka uses a shining wizard variant called the "F-Doll" for the win. Then she talks a bunch, about her impending retirement show on March 28th at Korakuen Hall. This six minute Youtube had more promos than wrestling, sort of like a mediocre episode of RAW.

ZAP I & ZAP T vs Etsuko Mita & Mima Shimoda: A classic match-up, but mostly nostalgia today rather than actual quality work. Wow, Mima really shouldn't do planchas anymore. Mita throws 74 empty chairs at ZAP T. Oh shit, Mita took a footstomp from ZAP I. ZAP I is really super fat. I'd recommend taking footstomps from people that weigh less, like Makoto or the Pillsbury Doughboy. ZAP I hits ZAP T with a kendo stick by mistake, leading to T taking a Death Valley Bomb from Mita. Now we hit Tommy Ran with the kendo stick and T with Etsu's pink chair. An axe kick assisted DVB to T ends it. What, is I too heavy to lift or something? C'mon Etsu, this is one of your last chances to throw out your back while on NEO's roster. Oh, you are waiting to do it to Big Momma Kyoko at the retirement show ;) The ZAPS are unmasked; OMG it's Kaoru Ito and Tomoko Watanabe!

Kaoru Ito vs Aja Kong: Dammit, I was hoping for that elusive Tomoko Morii sighting in this rare Ito Dojo clip (I hear she turned heel!), but it's just Erica Shisheido. Brawl outside the ring with the usual weapons (trash bin, chairs). Ito gigs herself a gusher and then ducks a top rope elbow drop. She stomps on Aja's uraken arm. I guess she's been watching the New Japan set too and saw Inoki work on Stan Hansen's lariat-o throwin' meathook. I wonder if she's digging all the junior matwork? Probably not. Aja gives Ito a vertical drop brainbuster. Aja takes TWO top-rope footstomps from Kaoru. I think I'd rather have Kyoko Kimura jump on me from the balcony. Ito gets the big win. Then Bull Nakano shows up and makes her first joshi appearance since leaving the business over ten years ago. Did you know that Keiko wrote a diet book and tried to get on the LPGA tour? She was more successful in the former than the latter. MILF Nakano is like that girl who was kind of fat and had a weird haircut and no one really liked her in high school, but now she's HAWT and can't wait for the 20th high school reunion to see how fat and wrinkled the homecoming queen and the cheerleaders are now.

West Exit is this indy that features a bunch of mini versions of puroresu icons. NEO uses them sometimes for house shows since Tanny Mouse isn't enough comedy for those people in the boonies that only get to see one live show a year.

Nanae Takahashi & Fuuka vs ? & ?: Girls against a couple of guys that bought the Crush Girls rookie swimsuits off of E-Bay. This is really not good. I'm not sure if the blond guy thinks he's Chigusa Nagayo or Dump Matsumoto. Nanae teaches drag queens how to throw lariats like a real woman. Fuuka dodges a Swanton Bomb from Blondie? Does he think he's Jeff Hardy now? He doesn't look anything like Jeff. Fuuka rolls this confused man up for the win.

Small Antonio Inoki: The rest of this video is all about mini Inoki. He's only about 5'2 or so, but from the neck up he looks just like a Honolulu weatherman or a young Antonio Inoki. They have other minis, like Small Giant Baba and Tiger Kid, but mini Inoki is my favorite! We should send over some fat pudgy kid from Texas and call him Small Stan Hansen.

Shu Shibutani appears in a surgical mask. She has some sort of jaw injury and is out for a while.

Etsuko Mita & Mima Shimoda vs GAMI & Yumi Ohka: The penultimate appearance of Los Cachorrus Orientales! Typical LCO brawling schtick. Mita gives Ohka a piledriver on the outside. They do the guardrail bit and the electric chair. GAMI saves Yumi after an axe kick assisted DVB. Ohka gets a near fall on Etsu, but eats another DVB for the pin.

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